Yes,I started killing people. It may not be the most popular way of spending free time, at least not in the eyes of the West Midland’s Police I guess , but I still went for it. And they’re not accidental killings, but intentional, carefully planned and executed, committed in broad daylight. I killed Simon, Paul, Jane and couple of more people.I plead guilty: I injected some homeless people with a lethal dosage of kindness…and homemade care packages:
I killed them with fresh socks, toothpaste, toothbrushes, soap, roll-ons, anti-bacterial hand gels, foot care products, tampons and to make sure they were properly done, I threw in some nuts, cereal bars and mints on top. Yeah, I think that finished them off quite nicely. And if not, that cup of hot coffee and hot baguette should’ve done the job!
But joking aside….In my previous post I shared my issues with this poster produced by West Midlands Police. I believe that it is important to support charities- financially or by giving them our time- and I acknowledge that they may help those people in another way, using different sets of believes and probably, well, statistics. But I question whether those organisations should be the only ports of call for homeless people. Or actually any people in need. Should we- individuals– stop reaching out to others, just because authorities have other ideas and approaches to helping people? Shouldn’t authorities, i.e. Police force, encourage people to help in another way if they really must ask people not to give money to homeless ? I think that we, as societies, suffer enough from lack of ,or very limited , basic human connection. Technology has started taking over pretty much every aspect of our lives, more and more people, including children, are losing ability to talk to a real person, the art of conversation seems to be also endangered. And all I would like to see is all us start building this connection back up again. Why am I so passionate about human connection? Because, as Brene Brown puts it,
“(…) connection is why we’re here. It’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. This is what it’s all about.(…) that connection, the ability to feel connected, is- neurobiologically that’s how we’re wired- it’s why we’re here.”
And I believe her.
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When I was chatting to one of the guys I’d met, I shared with him my idea of putting those care packages together and asked for his input- after all he was in a better position to tell me what homeless people may really need. I spent probably good 20/25 mins sitting on the steps in the city square just talking. I felt it was a really frank conversation- not one of those when you just say ‘yes’ to everything, but a proper talk, when you challenge each other from time to time.He told me his story, shared his ideas and dreams for the future. He seemed to have liked the idea of the packages and suggested I could start raising money and set up a charity. Nice idea indeed, and very tempting, I must say. However, I care about what we, as individuals, can do for another human being. It’s about acknowledgement, giving time, eye contact, a nice word or two. It’s about basic conversation with another person. And, of course, connection. Societies consists of individuals ; I dare to say that strong societies consist of individuals who are connected and support one another.
It crossed my mind that I could set up a website, start raising money and perhaps try to develop some kind of charity (?), but then I had another idea. I just called it ‘Give me five!’. Why? Because each of these care packages I’ve prepared costs more or less £5. What if each of us, wherever in the world we live, spend £5 ( or equivalent) on a homeless person, by providing a little care package of items they need or buying them a hot meal/drink? And if we don’t want to spend money- as it’s not really just about the money- then let’s give 5 minutes of our time ( and a smile ) to talk to someone who lives on the streets. Or give 5 minutes ( and a smile ) to a stranger or a neighbour we’ve never talked to. We can give the phrase ‘Give me five!’ totally new meaning 🙂 Let’s start (re)building human connection. Who’s with me?
I’d love to hear your stories of ‘giving five’ , if you care to share them with me! Thank you for reading and joining me on a quest of ‘giving five’ 🙂
Great posts. thanks Karina for sharing your thoughts! this reminds me of a colleague of mine who always gave money on street to those begging for money. he was also aware of those assumptions (or perhaps some are facts) about some people not begging money for what they said was. but he chose to believe the intentions of asking for money (for food or transport) were genuine and what he did even little could help out in good way.
That’s lovely- thanks for sharing this story 🙂 It’s so easy to make assumptions, I know I still do it, sometimes unintentionally, but I think it’s still important to reach out to others. I carry on with my little care packages: pretty much every time I go out, I’ll have one or two with me to give to someone in need. But, what I think it’s even more important, I talk to a person I’m offering a package to- I really believe that we need to (re)establish human connection.
Sometimes I gave some money to people on the streets in Beijing too, but without talking to them due to language barrier. Thanks for reading and talking time to reply 🙂
Hi Karina, it must be a great feeling – making a difference to at least one person.. makes a difference!
A housemate of mine at uni began doing something very similar to you and then she became a homeless outreach worker for Bristol City Council – she was super-dedicated, often going above and beyond. The last time I met her in UK she had been promoted up the chain and was doing very well for herself, and everywhere she went in the city she was greeted by people on the street with a smile – many of whom she knew by name and so forth. A very heartful occupation.
I used to discuss the situation of the people with her and she said that there were routes back into communities provided by local authorities but it was often a case of mental illness preventing people from taking advantage of those resources – difficulty functioning as part of a domestic community or maintaining expected standards of personal and domestic hygeine – that kind of stuff. And of course there’s the drugs and crime.
So I began seeing it as more of a mental health issue, rather than an economic one, but you have reminded me of how opportunities to help someone when we feel it is a good investment can be as simple as offering something quite small and material (which of course has its spiritual side too).
There can be a darker side also, however – my aforementioned friend collected a few ‘persistent admirers’ along the way, and of course that can be a danger. The current news item about Aaron Barley – the homelss huy who murdered his kind helpers is another example, so it is important to recognise that the homeless are not as domestically-inclined as they can appear – literally, of course, and also in a lifelong kind of way.
Stay safe, and thanks as usual for sharing your interesting projects.
Hi Tristan. Thanks for such a great and detailed comment- I really appreciate it! Wow, it’s good to read about your friend’s engagement with homeless people- so glad there are people like her in the world 🙂 Ideally I’d like people to start connecting again- I’m aware that giving a small care package to a homeless person might be a positive thing, but for me it’s more important to actually have a conversation etc. with a person. Material things are needed, but they won’t matter as much without human connection. So my idea to ‘give me five’ isn’t just about materialism and not just limited to homeless people. I’d love to encourage others to ‘give fives’ to anyone and anywhere they feel it’s needed, but ensuring that their gesture isn’t limited to giving things. But it’s a start! Yes, you’re right- safety is important. I can’t see myself walking around the city at night trying to locate homeless people, but what I do is every time I go to the city, I take a package -or few, run my errands, but also keep my eyes open for homeless people. And I approach them, ask them for their names, what they need and having a little chat.
Thanks for taking time to read my blog posts and comment- always appreciated 🙂
Wow, I’m so glad I read this. I genuinely admire you now – like, I’m thinking I should make you my role model or something. At any rate, with these two posts, you’ve reminded me of the person I used to want to be, and I’m going to start looking for more ways I can actually contribute to the world around me and help other people, which is something I don’t have a great track record of in recent times.
Thanks Paul, that’s a really nice comment! I’ve known you as a very kind and helpful person 🙂 But if you want to contribute even more, why don’t you give someone five -kuai, minutes, hours… 😀 Or maybe we can co-write a story together one day, which may help people too 🙂
Thanks for reading!
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Great idea Karina!! I ve been giving 5 over the past week to my elderly neighbour who has recently come out of hospital and is in need of a bit of support and encouragement. I have popped in to see him every day to make tea, heat up a meal and have a chat whilst i do it. He has given back to me with stories of his life.
Wow, that’s great, Nicola 🙂 Thanks for reading and sharing your story 🙂 x
I’m proud of you! These tiny little things make the world better place! Wish i had more courage to do the same. i donate to charities but it takes much more courage to look in the eyes of a homeless person and give, and not to run away from human beings in need.
Thanks 🙂 As I said, it’s also important to donate to charities- they usually struggle to get appropriate resources, so there’s this need too. It’s a challenge sometimes to look in the eyes of people in need, it’s never very easy, but it’s doable. I always feel they teach me something. Give them five now please 😀
Inspiring and yes, I will give you a five!!
Thanks 🙂 And please give a five to someone in need too 🙂