…according to the West Midland Police’s poster- yes, it can.
Few weeks ago I came across this poster at a bus station, which made me stop and think:
When I was younger, I decided not to give money to homeless people- for exactly this reason: I didn’t want to be responsible for somebody’s drug or alcohol induced illness or even death. It doesn’t mean that I didn’t want to help them- when they asked me for money I’d offer to buy food . And most of the time they accepted with , I believe, genuine gratitude. If they didn’t and pressed for money, I wouldn’t give them any as for me it was an indicator at that time, that money may be spent, indeed, on some more or less legal substances and I didn’t want to be part of it. I was trained in making assumptions about homeless people as often as any other average Joe.
In recent years I noticed some changes in my attitude towards homelessness and homeless people. I stopped waiting for people ask me for money or food, I’ve become more proactive, especially during autumn and winter periods. I’ve started buying hot food and drinks and approach any homeless people in my vicinity and just offer them a hot breakfast or lunch, or I’d stop and ask if they needed anything. And when I asked, do you know what the most common answer was? No, not money. ‘A bottle of pop.’
The other day I came across a young homeless woman. I asked if she needed anything from a shop- she said she had food, so she just wanted a bottle of pop. Apart from the drink, I also bought her antibacterial hand gel as I thought being on the streets often meant eating with dirty hands . I had a short chat with her after, asked her if she needed anything else and she showed me her shoes full of holes and about to fall apart. She needed a pair of shoes, size 8, and asked if I knew anyone wearing that size. Well, as a matter of fact, that’s my shoe size too. She told me she’d seen a pair for a fiver, but she didn’t have money to get them. I didn’t have cash on me, but if I did, that was the moment when I think I’d feel a bit reluctant to give it to her , so I offered I’d buy her shoes, which she accepted. Following her strict guidance, I only spent a fiver and it took me only extra half an hour on my way back home! And I really enjoyed helping her. Let me get it straight- of course I had a plethora of different thoughts such as ‘what if she exchanged the shoes for drugs/alcohol? etc. (assumptions! ) , but seriously, who am I to judge her ?! I’m not in her- no pun intended- shoes, I don’t know her story, I don’t understand how it feels to live on the streets and try to survive there. Observing my train of thoughts without judging helped me let go of them and enabled me just to be there for her, helping out and enjoying the process.
I realised that, from financial and ‘time-wise’ points of view, it’d be much cheaper (!) and ‘hassle-free’ to just give homeless people 20p or 50p (I do it very occasionally ) and carry on with my life, but I want to pay more attention to fellow human beings. I’ve enjoyed having a chat with some of them – I believe they are phenomenal teachers in the School of Life and sometimes they humble me. But I’m also guilty of ignoring people sometimes or feeling bad for refusing to give any money, especially if I’d already bought food for someone else that day. I do sometimes struggle to draw a line of when to help and when to leave it. I also wrote about this issue in my post few weeks ago.
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What really struck me when I read that poster was this rather strong suggestion, that money ‘can go to buy drugs or alcohol‘. And I get it, it sometimes might indeed. But my immediate reaction to it was “what if ‘your money can go to buy food‘?” Is it ok to just assume that money can be spent only on those substances? Doesn’t this poster label all/most homeless people as potential drug and alcohol abusers? Are there not enough labels on them already? Shouldn’t there be more on such posters to encourage people to help in more direct ways too, i.e. by buying a homeless person a hot drink or a pair of socks? Wouldn’t that be promoting kindness on an individual level too, instead of just leaving helping out to charitable organisations, which budget and funding have already been cut? Wouldn’t such encouragement help to rebuild communities and reestablish human connection? This imbalance doesn’t sit with me comfortably I must admit…
As as said before, I have no idea how it feels to live on the streets, how it feels not to be able to shower and eat on regular basis, I just simply don’t know…And I hope I’ll never find out! But I’m not the one to judge homeless people or choices they make. But perhaps I can offer something which can make their day a bit better. I can’t stop thinking about those people when I go to bed every night, especially on a cold night and I just can’t comprehend how they might be feeling. I then feel even more grateful for what I have and feel more compassionate towards homeless people, which then spurs me on wanting to do more for them. I’m getting more and more interested in their situation and I’ve got several ideas currently brewing in my head about what else I can do to help… I won’t share them now though 😉
So the Police Force and charities may have different, and perhaps more informed, approach to issue of homelessness, but I don’t think that this should stop us to reach out to our brothers and sisters on the streets or to stop us to treat them like they deserve to be treated- as fellow human beings.
What do you think? Is it possible to kill with kindness? Should potential risks or risky outcomes that may come alongside reaching out to others be enough to stop helping or limit amount of help we offer ?
(P.S. As I was writing my post, I came across this article, which I can relate to: It’s not wrong to give to homeless people-it’s human. )