Where are you from?

Where are you from?’ That’s probably the most common question I’m asked a lot and, I guess, I ask a lot too. It’s one of the most basic questions we learn when we learn a new language, when we travel, meet new people. Nothing special, just a simple question. Or so I thought.

I’ve been thinking about this question quite a lot for quite a while now and realised that I don’t really have a simple answer to it anymore. Let me explain…

Many years ago, I had a straight and rather automatic answer to this question: ‘I’m from Poland’. But few years ago I realised this answer wasn’t applicable any more. I was born in Poland, spent my childhood there, spoke the language, went to primary and secondary schools there, did my university course and a diploma. For most part of that period of time I didn’t have a choice where I lived, what customs I was to follow and so on. But then, as a young adult, I made a very conscious decision and I left for the UK. I spent most of my adult life there, my first language wasn’t Polish anymore, I bought a house, I had pension schemes, I built my life there and so on. So can I still say ‘I’m from Poland’, when actually I haven’t lived in the country I was born in for a  long time now?

Just to make the matter more interesting, currently I’m based in China:  I work here, have a pension fund, go to the doctors here, pay taxes, have friends. Ok, let’s face it, I won’t ever be able to say that ‘I’m Chinese’, but aren’t I from China now?

So my answer to ‘where are you from?’ question, based on assumption that people want to know the country I was born in has now been ‘Technically, I’m Polish’ .  My answer often leads to really interesting and mind opening discussions about identity. I find it extremely fascinating to talk to people who come from different countries, cultures, speak different mother tongues as it’s so interesting to see how they perceive themselves. And I always learn something new about how I see myself too.

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Few days ago I was working with a group of new colleagues  and as we all come from different countries, it was inevitable that I’d be asked – and that I’d ask- ‘where are you from?’. When I got this question I said ‘Well, my passport says I’m Polish’- my new colleague answered:  ‘That means you must be.’

But must I really? Does a little red book really defines who I am? Does my passport really dictates to others how they should see me? I have to say that unfortunately, and too often, that seems to be the case. I’ve been discriminated against because of the red book- on professional and quite recently, on a personal level. Sad. But true.

What does it mean to be ‘Polish’? Or any other nationality for that matter? Language? Customs? Religion?  Rituals? Relationships? Restrictions? I don’t think I’ve got a clear answer to that and I’m not sure if I’m really interested in looking for one any more. After living abroad for several years, travelling, meeting people from different countries, cultures, religions etc., I don’t really think that there is a simple answer to that question. And maybe Pico Iyer is right saying that ‘Where you come from now is much less important than where you’re going.‘ I love it! Wouldn’t it be great to stop focusing so much  just on the place where our human life began and truly look beyond the borders?

Who knows, maybe one day my answer to ‘where are you from?’ question will be simply ” I’m multinational’ , and no one will ever raise their eyebrows…

11 Replies to “Where are you from?”

  1. Maybe we should get used to asking new questions instead of where are you from, like where have you lived most of your life. Maybe that’s the biggest influence on us.
    PS: Had no idea you live in China now. It must be very interesting.

  2. All places where you have lived shape you and make you who you are, I think it’s absolutely true! But I also think there is something to spending your formative years in a certain place. In my case, I think that the deep sense of trauma that is present in Polish psyche has had a huge influence on who I am. But I feel that it has also deepened my existence in a way. Good topic, keep up the good work!

    1. Thanks, Gosia! Yeah, I know a thing or two about Polish psyche too- it definitely made its stamp on me too. And I also feel I’ve learnt a lot from there and from any other places, people, cultures, experiences etc. I’ve faced on my life journey. Thanks for your support!

  3. 🙂 You are from Europe! People don’t really care where people are from. Just a kickoff of conversation.. You are in Beijing, buy all kinds of air purifiers, like diversified meeting blues, pay via wechat, eat gai fan for lunch, use mobike or diversified xxbikes, in weekends, go to Hu tong for a drink or dinner… Or go to suburban where there are always more or less Great Walls or farmers’ lodges where people sing karaoke in the night… then you are beijinger 🙂

    1. Thanks for your comments, Yan. Nice list-I’ve looked at it and almost tick all the boxes- not interested in paying via WeChat or riding a bike here though , lol 🙂 See ya!

    1. Actually I think I might indeed – thanks, Amanda ! It’d be nice to pioneer something, hahaha 🙂 Thanks for your support 😀

  4. That’s an interesting read, Karina.

    I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine. We were talking about the UK and I made a comment about England being my second home and he found it really bizarre. He started saying things like ‘But, you are Greek. […] You should not deny your heritage (sic)’ and so on.

    So, this led me to start thinking about the issue of identity and I realised that it’s not about denying one’s past (or present) is about not letting anything (in this case, as you put it, a little red book) define who/what you are.

    Thank you for the post.

    P.S. I really hope you will say ‘I am from Europe’ soon! 😉

    Mwah!

    Angelos

    1. Thanks, Angelos. Yes, the issue of (national) identity is an interesting one for me. I recommend watching those talks I’ve imbedded in the post. I can’t see myself forgetting my Polish roots, forgetting my mother tongue (even though it sounds weird now when I speak it, lol ), gawd forbid I’ll forget the food! But it’s interesting to see how easy it is for us, humans, to make assumptions about other people just looking at their passports and ignoring all the experiences and knowledge their acquired living in multiple countries.

      P.S. “I’m from Europe” in May 😀

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